Apologies

I was listening to Stuart McLean on CBC this morning - The Vinyl Cafe series.

I've always enjoyed his work. He's informing, thought-provoking, funny, his sense of timing is impeccable, and he's believable. I think most Canadians who listen to his stories respect McLean for the being a loyal Canadian who often brings out the lighter side of our nationality while exposing our vulnerabilities.

This morning, McLean offered an apology for how he came across in one of his previous broadcasts. Before offering his own apology, McLean spoke highly of Prime Minister Harper's admission of wrong and apology to the Canadian First Nations for the treatment they received in residential schools over more than a century. McLean also talked about the Australian Government, taking it a step further with their Aboriginal People by declaring an annual 'Sorry Day', to remember the wrongs committed and put some traction to their apology.

Listening to McLean's apology - something that, quite frankly, was an anomaly for the program - gave me greater respect for the man as a writer and human being. He spoke of writing, and how writers do what they do to release the thoughts and ideas within themselves, and also to bring greater awareness of history and current events to their readers. I had some 'Yes!' moments as I resonated with his comments.

McLean's own admission of insensitivity made me realize that no matter how loved or accomplished we are in what we do - as writers, communicators - we are bound to make mistakes. Other people will come forward to challenge our ideas, our assumptions or our attempts to present issues in a specific light. This is not a bad thing. I liked McLean's comment that he was given "pause".

Sometimes our errors are, in hindsight, embarrassing. We look back, smack our forehead with our palm, and ask ourselves, "How could I have done that?" Other times, we realize we've committed errors by not thinking things through from all angles.  And there are always many.

Just this week, I was bemoaning the fact that I had made a blunder. In retrospect, I'm still not sure how I managed to do it, yet I, like McLean had been unwittingly insensitive to someone through my writing.

My ever-supportive husband recognized my need for a hug, and reminded me that he, too, struggles when he makes mistakes in his work. We feel like we should know better. We're hard on ourselves. But taking 'pause' is important. Considering how I have annoyed or hurt someone is humbling.

Writing is risky. Following our heart and dreams is risky. Sometimes we'll look ridiculous in the opinion of others.

Is it worth it? Definitely. Anything worth doing demands a striving for excellence and has its own rewards.

Taking responsibility for what I say and do gives me credibility as a human being, humility as a writer and earns the respect of others if I'm sincere in my apology and learn from my blunders. We'll never be perfect this side of Heaven.  That said, I still hate making mistakes.