The conflict I wrote about in my previous blog has been resolved.
My mom passed away on November 1st.
As I indicated in my previous post, I had struggled - not insignificantly - with end of life decisions. I was glad for the one-mindedness that my sister and I felt, and the validation by her physician.
Mom struggled against her oxygen mask and her IV in her final days. Because of her memory loss, she didn't remember - more than a few seconds - when we told her the oxygen was to make her better. Mom was usually a pretty upbeat person, but it was clear that she felt almost claustrophobic. She wanted freedom. A few times, she mumbled to me, "I can't anymore."
She hated having the mask on, and even the nasal tube when her meals came. At one point, she just kept trying to pull it off and was becoming very agitated. I found it painful to watch her discomfort and angst. I said, to her (in Dutch), "That rotten thing, hey?"
"Ya!" she exclaimed.
I took it off and asked, "Is that better?"
For the first time, she actually laughed, and said, "Ya!" with a big, beaming smile.
As she continued to deteriorate, we consulted with the physician about the reality of her condition. It was clear that if she was to get better, it would be a long road of fighting with oxygen and IV.
Then, overnight, she became unresponsive. My sister and I went in to speak with her doctor. We asked him whether the most compassionate thing would be to remove all the tubes, allowing her to die in comfort and with dignity. He concurred with our thoughts.
We asked how long she might last. He said it would be anywhere from 2 hours to a few days.
As it turned out, she went within the hour.
My mom was a woman of faith. Her hope and salvation was in the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. We cannot be devastated when we know the joy she now experiences. She has entered a new life where time is no more. Her joy will never end.
I was blessed to be with her when she drew her last breath here on earth. It's hard to express the deep mystery that envelopes the moment of death. I believe her movement into her eternal home was a gentle, good journey. I feel privileged to have witnessed it.