A Surprise UN-Birthday

I've been waiting YEARS to surprise my husband, Don.  I will post stories later about some of the things he's surprised me with.  I finally got him, as you'll see in some of the pictures below.  (His mouth actually hangs open:-)

I invite you to read our daughter Kelly's original post below and enjoy the photos she took (Kelly's a photographer as well - bluemelonphotography.com -) of Don's 60th UNbirthday last week.  Since his 60th year began the day after his 59th birthday, I concluded it would be very appropriate to celebrate his birthday smack-dab in the middle of his 60th year. 

It was also our son-in-law, Alf's birthday.  He graciously allowed Don the limelight, though.  I have one correction to Kelly's comment about Don never having a party.  He's had birthday parties, but usually by the time December 27 rolls around, everyone is so satiated with Christmas parties and dinners in the weeks previous, that they're not really 'into it'.  Besides, both our birthdays are in winter, so having a summer birthday party is, for us, a novelty.

Here's Kelly's post:

 My most wonderful, amazing husband celebrated his 36th birthday last Thursday, June 27th. He was not the celebrated guest of honor, but it was a good evening. We celebrated as a family on Saturday after his birthday, which I will write about in another post. But the reason his birthday was overshadowed...

My dad's birthday is December 27th (also our anniversary...we got married on his 50th birthday) and because of that, he has never had a birthday party (he claims). I can't speak for his childhood but growing up and in my adult years, I can say that he's never had a celebration that's just about him and his birthday. He has pulled off many surprises for my mom and she has never been able to really get him good. This was her opportunity.

She decided to throw him an UNbirthday for his 60th birthday. Exactly 6 months early, which is Alf's actual birthday. So we have been planning for months on this. We set the menu, made the guest list, I created a slide show, and tried to formulate a plan to get him out of the house for the afternoon while I set up for the surprise. After Tara & Dave's wedding, my parents went on an Alaskan cruise with my Uncle Dave & Auntie Irene, and some relatives from Australia, Jim and Benita. They came back on Wednesday, party on Thursday. When I asked my mom about cutting the lawn, she assured me Dad would cut it as soon as they returned; we wouldn't have to ask him to, let alone worry about it.

So on Wednesday, I oven-cooked five pork shoulder blade roasts for eight hours. Normally, Alf does them on the barbeque or the oven...not me! This was my first shot at it and while I was a bit nervous Alf assured me it was just a matter of putting them in and taking them out after eight hours. He was right. The bone slide out of each roast, perfectly clean. So yummy!





I also made our baked beans (I will do that recipe sometime this summer to photograph and share), plus I did coleslaw with homemade dressing. From Costco I picked up a veggie tray, fruit tray, potato salad, Sabra Roasted Red Pepper Hummus, those delicious hexagon chips by Food Should Taste Good, mango salsa and rice crackers. We also ordered a party sushi tray as part of the appies, and our favorite fruit and whipped cream cake from Richlea Bakery (where I worked, waaaaay back when).



{The cake with Dad's UofA Engineering grad picture}


{The only picture of the food in its ready-to-be-eaten state, my dad's plate. We pan-toasted the buns, which makes a world of difference}


Alf had to work all day, so the kids and I got our things together that morning and set out early afternoon to bring our overnight things to my in-laws and then head over to my parents. Well, with some very secretive phone calls, Mom let me know they were not home yet and needed to stay out for a bit yet. Jeff had caught a morning bus down from Pemby to help out, so the kids and I picked him up and went into town and found some last minute decor items.



{Whipped together a last-minute 'checkered flag' balloon banner. Taeya first noted it was the colors of a skunk, which she had seen at Tara's bridal shower}






{Having fun waiting for the party to start}


Finally, Dad left on a business call into West Vancouver (how awesome!), that was created by someone he works with on a somewhat regular basis. He was kept out and about until about 6:30pm. So in the meantime, Mom, Auntie Irene (my dad's sister), Jeff, Tara and I prepped our last minute things, decorated, set up and started welcoming guests. The kids were so eager to help with the surprise, so as we waited in the backyard, Taeya and Ezra ran to the front of the house and excitedly told Grandpa they had to show him something in the backyard. He said he just had to put some things inside, but Taeya wonderfully insisted he had to come with her first. He said he wanted a hug from them but again, she stuck to our 'no excuses' guidelines and told him she'd hug him after he came to the backyard. They came through the breezeway and we sang Happy Birthday as Dad stood very surprised and stunned.

{Waiting...this is what Dad saw when he came through the breezeway}










{Uncle Dave had done with Dad and the other gentleman on the business call...I'm sure he was 'defending' himself here}


{Trying to figure out what clues his missed during the day}








{Trying to compose himself}




{"59.5"}


{Ezra was so excited to show him all the features on his new walker}


{Dad went around and greeted all his guests...still very shocked}






{I know he hugged someone twice...so overwhelmed he was just hugging and thanking, etc.}


I brought the kids to my inlaws around bedtime; Alf was there showering, and we went back to my parents, where my dad got everyone singing Happy Birthday to Alf. And we ate, had fun and stayed up late. We walked back to my inlaws around 11:30 and almost got sprayed by a skunk and also passed between a couple of racoons.





{Such a great yard for a party! And the rain stopped so we could be outside :) The grass was verrry wet, so after we surprised him, we basically stayed to the patio areas}


{Darrell was very excited to use Dad's wine-bottle opener. As he was telling me that Dad never lets him use it, Dad walked in and tried to take over!}








{This lovely couple on the left are my parents' neighbors that moved in a few years ago. Such a sweet couple and so much fun!}


{I guess we let Dad get changed out of his work clothes}


{Kids corner}


{Blurry, but I love it}


{Siblings. Nina was nearly there. She worked until 5:30 and then immediately jumped in the truck (work clothes and all) and drove straight down. She's awesome}












{We requested no gifts, but you know these people just can't contain themselves.}




{Mom's older than Dad by a month and a half...not that you can tell...}




{He figured out pretty quickly what Mom got him}


{Beautiful! Carved out of yellow cedar, the aroma was incredible and it is so beautiful!}




{Me and the birthday boy}




The next morning after breakfast, we went back to my parents to pick things up, and sat while the others had a waffle breakfast.





All in all, a great, successful surprise party!

Giving and Receiving

Therefore, whenever we have the opportunity, we should do good to everyone—especially to those in the family of faith. (Galatians 6:10)

A few months ago, it came to our deacons' attention that someone had decided to relocate to our community from another church in our denomination.  At first, we thought Margaret was just visiting.  Originally from Kenya, after six years in Canada, she had decided to return to Africa for a three-month visit, after which she made a stop to visit the family our church had sponsored a year ago.  It wasn't until two weeks into her 'visit' that we became aware of her intention to relocate within our community.

We tried, along with her sponsoring community, to urge her to move back.  It is much more expensive to live here than where she had come from.  Although we didn't understand, her situation is complex, and she was adamant about staying with us.  It would seem that we had work to do.  She couldn't stay with our sponsored family; there was just not enough room.  So, over the next few months, she moved back and forth, from home to home, hosted by several families in the congregation.

Complicating the issues, Margaret had lost her status with Social Services during her three months out of country.   She has physical issues that limit her ability to work, and she was homeless and without finances. That said, she also had no problem accepting the generosity of people, praising God for answering her prayers every time someone else took her into their home.

I admit to feeling somewhat annoyed by Margaret's assumption that she could just 'plunk' herself down in our midst, expecting us to take care of her.  Even earlier, when she went back to Africa, one of our members paid an exorbitant amount for the extra baggage she had with her, bringing back goods to her family in the refugee camps.  

It seemed to many of us that Margaret's attitude was one of receiving - not ungratefully - everything that was offered, perhaps even expecting it of us. 

Then Margaret came and stayed with us.  She was an easy house guest who was willing to chop vegetables, sweep, dust, and clean up after meals.  She told me some stories about her past experiences in Rwanda, Kenya and the refugee camps, giving me a new appreciation for her disregard for material things, and an understanding why, if she's given money, she will simply send it to her family in Africa.  It's easy to understand that someone from her background and her own generous nature might expect that affluent people would easily share their wealth with those who have little.

Margaret once again has a fixed income, and although it took time, it is clear that placement into her new home was by Divine appointment.  She has been warmly welcomed into her new Seniors' Community and is learning to live on her limited budget in a new place with higher expenses that she is accustomed to.  We are encouraging her to do things for herself, and be independent, while enjoying her new neighbors.

At the same time, our faith community has grown, as we often do, when our lives intersect with those from other cultures.  Unless we are very rigid, we are bound to become open to broader perspectives. 

God has given me a different point of view through this experience. Here's what I learned:

• when trying to help someone, respect their dignity.  Ask them for input. Get to know who they are.
• pray to discern what is the best permanent solution for them. 
• wait for God's timing - don't let others press you into making quick decisions.  Avoid a 'quick fix' that leaves room for ongoing vulnerability.
• anticipate that people who you may never have expected to come forward, may do so, and encourage them.  Watch God work in your faith community, causing growth.
• ask God for a new attitude if you're struggling.  Try to understand the differences in cultures and consider all angles of a situation.
• seek out the wisdom of trusted friends who are distanced from the situation.

When a need becomes known, it's encouraging to see people come forward, presenting themselves in practical acts of worship.  During this time, I've come to know a few people in my faith community a bit better.  When we work and pray towards a common goal, we receive our own gifts.  I was taught more about patience and faith, and the experience has matured me just a bit more.

Fitting Pride

 Pride - while not so much in our society at large - at least within the Christian community, is a word that holds negative connotations.  Christians believe that pride leads to all kinds of sin...envy, deception, greed, hatred, ... the list goes on.  If you want to read more, just check out the book of Proverbs on this subject.

 

But today I admit to being proud - and I believe my pride is both acceptable and fitting. It's a pride not unlike my pride of being Canadian.

Our oldest son, Jeff, returned this week from the Selkirk Mountain Range and a grueling 10-day full Ski Guide exam that will result in his accreditation with ACMG (Association of Canadian Mountain Guides).  He called just before the exam started to say that examiners were looking for white-out conditions to test applicants' skills.

Post-grad from a three-year Outdoor Program at Northwest Baptist College found Jeff living in his car and subsisting on Kraft Dinner as he was trying to find his way into the Whistler area as a guide.  Now an 'old timer' in the area, he has since worked with various guiding companies, and done free-lance work.  A few years ago, he successfully gained accreditation as Assistant Ski Guide with ACMG, and has gained valuable experience guiding heli-skiing.  Jeff has logged days and weeks of skiing and traversing experience in varying terrain to get to the point of being eligible for this exam.

I wondered if I should wait to post this until after he gets his results, but there's really no reason. As his mother and biggest fan, (OK, maybe his wife, Nina rivals me in this category)  I fully expect him to enter into this world-class accreditation with flying colors.  Were he required to re-do the exam, I'd be just as proud of him for his passion and standard of excellence in his field.  He will continue to work towards a full ACMG designation, which besides Ski Guide, includes Rock Guide and Alpine Guide categories. 

What got me onto this subject of pride was surfing through our oldest daughter's blog.  Kelly blogs regularly about the ordinary and not-so-ordinary moments that constitute family life.  When I read her stories and insights, I am constantly amazed at her parenting skills, how she demonstrates her love for her husband and kids in practical and sacrificial ways, and how she cares about those within her sphere of influence.  Her parenting style is loving and consistent, and it includes good humor and empathetic understanding.  As a matter of principle, she looks for the good in others, and looks to their best interests. She has true friendships because she is a good friend.  She's resourceful.  She's a volunteer, has her own photography business, blue melon photography, runs a guest house, Adagio Guest House, teaches piano, and continues to learn new things.  She and her husband are hospitable people.  Like the rest of us, Kelly is not perfect, but she is diligent and intentional about being a Godly woman. This makes me a very proud mom.

Our youngest daughter, Tara, has recently successfully completed her final exams at West Coast School of Massage Therapy.  For the past 2 1/2 years she's had her nose to the grindstone studying, while giving up the simple pleasures of leisure time and social interaction in order to meet her goals.  What she didn't give up, thankfully, was building a relationship with Dave, the man whom she will marry in just 8 weeks.  Although academic success has always required hard work from Tara, this time she outdid herself.  She measured the cost, made sacrifices, gritted her teeth and not only got through it, but did so with excellent results.

Tara's social and compassionate nature is well-suited to her chosen career.  She's told me over and over again about the satisfaction she feels from being able to assess and treat people with health issues.  Having been treated by several RMTs including Tara, I believe that Tara demonstrates a natural gift for this work, and that she will do well, quickly building a repeat clientele.  The emotion I felt when she stepped forward for her diploma formed a lump in my throat and gratitude in my heart.

I am so pleased to observe my grown children excel in characteristics that have never particularly been my strong suit.  I'm not nearly as focused as Jeff, as loving and consistent as Kelly or as determined as Tara.  Of course, there is my husband Don, from whom they may have inherited and learned some (if not all) of these traits.

In essence though, these accomplishments are because of God's grace - how he's made each of our children, how he's shaped them, and his care over them from the day of their birth.  These accomplishments are also about the gifts he's placed within them, and their desire to go with who they are. (More about this later).  This gives us immense reason to celebrate and be thankful!

Hmmm - I wonder if God ever feels pride in us, his children.  But again, another topic for another day.

Attitude

In all areas of life, we have choices - at least that's what I've always been told.  Our attitude is foundational to the choices we make.

Many times I have found myself speculating, assuming and yes, even judging people unfairly.  I wonder what causes this behavior.  I dislike this part of myself.  Do I have a choice in how I view others?

As a follower of Jesus Christ, I know what I ought and ought not to do.  Yet my default is often exactly the opposite of what my head knows.  How do I change my default position?  An 'about face' is necessary when judgmental self-righteousness rears its ugly head.

It's easy to let our thoughts roam wherever they may - to make hasty assumptions without knowing the truth about people.  We look and listen carelessly, leaping to conclusions. Our own history often frames our opinions of others.

Many would argue that our thoughts, kept private, are harmless, and that they're also uncontrollable.  But in describing the reasoning of a spiritual versus a non-spiritual person, Paul says in 1 Cor 2:16, "we have the mind of Christ." Having the 'mind of Christ' means submitting our own thoughts to His Spirit within us.

We look with our eyes, physically; but spiritually, we see with Christ's eyes.  We hear with our own ears physically; but spiritually, we hear with Christ's ears.  We make judgements with our own minds, but discern all things by Christ's thinking - that is, the Spirit who lives in us and gives us guidance.  But we need to be open to the leading of the Spirit.

Just as we control our physical bodies by discipline (how we move, what we put into our bodies), so we allow the Spirit to take control of our minds by what we take in and how we journey through our spiritual disciplines.

A few verses earlier, in 1 Cor 2:14,15 Paul says "¹⁴ But people who aren’t spiritual can’t receive these truths from God’s Spirit. It all sounds foolish to them and they can’t understand it, for only those who are spiritual can understand what the Spirit means. ¹⁵ Those who are spiritual can evaluate all things, but they themselves cannot be evaluated by others."

Does this last verse sound a little arrogant?  It almost makes the 'spiritual' person sound untouchable.  On closer study, however, note that the spiritual person can evaluate all things.  We can evaluate what is right or wrong, we can even confront people with the truths that are relevant to their situation.  But we are not to judge people.  Even Christ showed mercy to the outcasts of society - prostitutes, cheaters, adulterers, thieves.  He told them the truth about themselves, forgave their sin, and told them to stop sinning.  The only people Christ judged were the arrogant and self-righteous.

We, just like the marginalized in Jesus' day, need to know about ourselves so we, too, can stop sinning - so we won't fall into the trap of self-righteousness.  When we're honest about our own journey, about who we are and about the grace we've been given, we will evaluate all things using the mind of Christ, whose grace knows no limits.  And we will love people.  

Easy? Not a bit.  Messy? You bet!  Rewarding?  Absolutely!